I started golf lessons today. Golfing was on my to-do-before-I-die list, so I decided that this was the year. Besides, golf clothes and accessories are so fun.
So, my instructor, who has 30+years of golfing on me, told me to do a checklist in my mind while I “address” the ball (that’s golf talk for getting into my stance). At this point, my brain goes into overload. There are no less than 30 bits of minutia that one must consider while getting ready to swing. This includes (but is not limited to):
- gripping the club (not too tight, hands together, you may or may not lock your fingers),
- lining up your club with the ball,
- standing up straight with shoulders back,
- leaning over slightly,
- sticking out your butt,
- bending your knees,
- keeping your head down – eye on the ball,
- keeping your left arm straight,
- making sure that you are leaning slightly forward,
- transferring your weight properly,
- carrying your swing through.
All this to whack my wrist into the ground several times, make a few impressive divets, and burn worms. I finally hit one out straight and far and decided not to press my luck any further. I walked up to two guys who looked like they knew what they were doing and gave them the rest of the balls in my bucket. They were nice and told me not to be discouraged or give up. I have no intentions of giving up – there’s a very cute moose head cover that I want for my bag, as well as some other bling. Looking the part is half the fun. I’ll be back for more torture next week.