How Nice For You

It’s day six here at the library and I’m starting to feel tired. They let me out for water, bread and a break this afternoon.  Only five more days to go.

Weeks like this make me go into survival mode, when I figure out how little I can do to get by or what I’m not going to stress about.  Sometimes I get unsolicited advice from people about things like how to live my life or raise, educate and feed children.  If it’s not specifically advice, then they just give their strong opinion and I feel like somehow I need to agree.  Survival mode often makes me crabby and I tend to handle things differently when I feel this way. 

I think the way I’m going to handle unsolicited advice from now on is just say, “How nice for you.”  There’s no need to disagree with the other person, say they’re outright wrong, tell them their halo is crooked or debate anything.  I’m just going to say, “How nice for you” and leave it at that. 

I’m going to practice right now.  You can hum along.

“Your children never slept on your bedroom floor in a sleeping bag because you refused to lie down with them in their own bed anymore?  You don’t believe in children getting out of their beds at night? How nice for you.”

“Really?  You only buy organic foods?  Your children never have eaten McDonald’s? Only whole wheat pizza is allowed at your house? How nice for you.”

“No way – no one argues in your house?  You have never played referee?  How nice for you.”

“Wow!  Your children’s room are always neat?  You’ve never had to shut their doors and walk away? How nice for you.”

See how easy that was?  Survival mode can make you very sassy indeed.


3 thoughts on “How Nice For You

  1. I think I’ll pile on:

    Your babies’ bottoms were never touched by disposable diapers? You knit organic diaper covers for their organic diapers? How nice for you!

    You have never fallen asleep while playing Polly Pockets? How nice for you!

    Your child has never heard you utter a curse word? He would never say, “What the hell?” at the store? How nice for you!

    You have never used television as a babysitter? Your children have never watched TV while you exercised, emptied the dishwasher, or did your graduate school homework? How. Nice. For. You.

    I like it.

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