I’m using my mom voice today to ask all of the following to take a time out. I’d like them all to exit one at a time, no pushing please, and then go away, thank you very much. I think that we all need a break right now.
Kwame Kilpatrick – If you’re from Michigan, you know all about this. If you’re not, go to the Detroit News site and get all of the gory details there. Kwame needed a time out a long time ago.
Paris Hilton – She may be rich and famous, but I can’t for the life of me figure out why she is in the media so much because she is totally untalented. She could do a world of good by becoming a philanthropist and leaving the party girl scene.
Brangelina – Millions of people have children. Millions of people adopt children. Millions of people, including my own parents, do both. Millions of people don’t have millions of dollars. It’s very nice that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have six children between them. Let’s all remember that they have the resources to do so and stop acting like they are God’s gift to parenting.
John Edwards – So, let me get this straight… your wife is battling cancer, you’ve got three children, you wanted to lead the nation by becoming president and you had an affair that you vehemently denied but has since turned out to be true. Please join Kwame Kilpatrick to the front of the line – you two can leave together first.
Tom Cruise – I just want him to go away. I don’t need a reason at the moment.
Hannah Montana – Can Mylie Cyrus just go away? She can take all of the Hannah Montana backpacks, t-shirts, fake wigs and any other paraphanalia with her as she leaves. I can’t figure out how this show got to be this popular.
I think that’s it for people right now. Here’s some stories in the media that I’m tired of hearing about.
Obesity Reports: Yes, we get it. Americans are overweight. Thank you for your observations now please go away.
The Presidential Election: Here we go again. Get your shields ready to protect yourself from all of the mud slinging. Let’s elect someone soon so that the whole thing can go away.
Gas Prices: Ridiculous. Now we’re trained to think that $3.85 for a gallon of gas is a bargain. I’m afraid that this problem is never going to go away.
All better now, thanks for listening. Feel free to add your personal pet peeves in the comments.