The Grass Is Always Greener When You’ve Got A Sprinkler System

It hasn’t rained here in over a month – no exaggeration.  Our grass is beyond dormant, it just looks completely dead.  I would hope that people would refrain from smoking anywhere near our yard because it just may go up in flames.

It’s become obvious that there are two types of people in our neighborhood; those who water their lawn and those who don’t.  We are obviously of the latter group. 

Of the former, there are the people who smugly sit in their houses while their sprinkler system waters the lawn and gardens and those who run around their yard moving hoses.  There’s an occasional elderly man whose sole mission in life is to keep the grass alive by standing there and watering it with the hose.  Incidentally, if that becomes my sole mission in life, it’s pretty much over.

My mother’s hairdresser, who lives in our neighborhood, was complaining about the apathy of people these days, citing “those who don’t water their lawns” as being loathsome people.  Ouch.  I asked her not to tell him that my lawn looks pretty trashy and I’m one of those undesirables too.  However, his announcement didn’t encourage me to run out there with the sprinkler to save my reputation.

You know what they say about Michigan…if you don’t like the weather, wait 24 hours.  It should start raining any day now and the grass will grow back.  Then we’ll be in the green grass crowd again.


3 thoughts on “The Grass Is Always Greener When You’ve Got A Sprinkler System

  1. So, I totally know where you’re coming from. Our front lawn is some kind of grass that is meant for Florida and other tropical climates, so, as we discovered after living in the house for a few months, it is only green about 8 weeks out of the whole year. The rest of the time it looks like most people’s lawns look right now: dead. Ours is the only house on the street with this stupid grass, so it was pretty embarrassing to see ours looking so bad compared to everyone else’s.

    So we decided to get rid of it. Some lawn companies told us that they could tear it out, but due to the tenacious root system of this crapgrass, it would probably come back in a year or two and strangle whatever else we planted. Our options were to completely douse it with chemicals or to smother it, so we decided to smother it (too many kids/pets/etc. in the area to feel comfortable with the chemical option).

    So now that we’ve got the whole thing covered in newspaper and mulch and are waiting for the worms to do their job composting it all, all our neighbors’ lawns look just like ours did before! I’m still happy we made the choice we did, and I’m looking forward to doing some actual landscaping out there next spring. It’s annoying to know that we could’ve blended in with the Joneses, though. 🙂

  2. Well, today I broke down and watered the lawn. I am not sure why other than the total embarrassment Ifeel for how it looks. What is weird is how bad our lawn looks even compared to others that don’t water their lawn.

  3. Hmmm, well, there is always the opposite. Grow one of those exotic looking lawns with no grass and huge plants that look as though they may consume children and small pets.

    If they bug you about your grass scream “WATER WASTER!!! EARTH KILLER!!!” and slam the door. That will embarrass them and also make them think that you are just crazy enough to not be messed with. 😉

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