Don’t Want to Be an American Idiot


Did you ever have one of those moments when you say to yourself, “OH MY GOSH… I am such an idiot!”  No?  Well, how nice for you.  Me, on the other hand… I’m not batting 1000…

Our mattress suddenly started sagging last year, to the point that I had a guy out from the furniture store to look at it for possible replacement.  The indentations had to be over 1.5 ” deep (or more) before they would drag it away and give us a new one and ours were sunk in 1.25″.  Darn, so close.

So, we’ve been sleeping on this totally uncomfortable mattress for over half a year.  I was fixin’ to call that same mattress guy out when my husband decided to get on the floor and look at it Friday night.  It kept sliding off of the box spring and he couldn’t figure out what the deal was.  

After picking up the mattress he asked, “Amy, did you take the box spring off of the bed last year at some point?”  Uh oh.  “Why, yes, dear.  I always take it off a couple of times a year so that I can vacuum under the bed.  Why do you ask?”  (Here’s the good part…)  “Well, you put the box spring back on the frame upside down.  That’s why our bed has been sagging and my back hurts every morning.”

Golly.  Guess common sense isn’t so common after all.

I told him that we were $1,000 richer because we didn’t have to replace that silly mattress after all.

I’ll just go sit over here by myself and you can all talk about me now.  It’s okay- I can take it.


3 thoughts on “Don’t Want to Be an American Idiot

  1. Oh my – oops! I would NEVER laugh at you! With you, yes – but not at you! Honestly…I can’t get beyond being impressed that you actually take your box spring off the frame to vacuum!

  2. I’m not laughing at you. It’s something I would do myself. My husband would never do it, but I could easily do it. It’s on a slightly grander scale than me putting one stick of butter in a cookie recipe that calls for two…but the reason is the same: we are too damn busy!!!! So, just think to yourself, “Golly gee, I”m sorry…but when I was putting the box spring back on, eldest son was probably asking me to fix a sandwich, youngest son was probably asking me to find him some socks, and eldest daughter was wondering when I had last seen her new lip gloss. I was probably getting ready to go to work but also had to let the dog out first, put in tonight’s dinner, and stop by the dry cleaner for my husband’s shirts. Oh wait, and I hadn’t showered yet. So, no WONDER I didn’t put the box spring the right way up. “

  3. Pingback: Brain Envy « Not Your Mother’s Weblog…

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