As always, here are some visual aids for you.
The description for this demented looking gift is as follows:
“Great kit for boys! Kit contains: magic ink, hand buzzer, snake in can, pet vomit, fart whistle, goofy teeth, pet poop, squirt gum, x-ray specs, squirt ring, dribble glass and money snatcher.”
Money snatcher? What’s a dribble glass? What a nice toy for Billy this year!
If you don’t have enough drama in your life, or you’d just like to see what’s going on at the local emergency room, be sure to buy one of these for your little tyke:
Perhaps you remember Tickle Me Elmo and how much you liked that toy. Or, maybe it annoyed the hell out of you and now you want to annoy others too. If so, give this Tickle Elmo Hand a try. Be sure to buy two for the maximum effect:
One toy site described this Bilibo as “hours of fun for your child”. So, go ahead and tell me what you think your child would do with this for giggles. I think that putting it by the curb and seeing if anyone would take it out of your trash would be interesting.
Of course, you might want to get something for a grandparent. Pets can be so much fuss, so why don’t you just buy him or her a “breathing pet”. Yes, these charming plush creatures look like they are sleeping and, for a creepy value added extra, their abdomens rise up and down, just like they’re breathing. For fun, place one on a chair and pretend to sit on it, freaking others guests!
You could buy a Bella and Edward the Vampire doll set for that special little girl in your life. I can imagine lots of five-year olds who would love to play with these fun toys:
Maybe you have too much money to spend this year and want to buy a toy that both your child and your pet cat can enjoy. For $50, you too can have one of these Zhu Zhu “hamsters”. What do they actually do? Why, take up space and end up in next year’s garage sale, of course.
If you’d like to trade your brain with someone special this holiday season, buy two of these numbers and hook them up. I bet Dr. Frankenstein would have requested these on his Christmas list had they been available.
Last but not least, here’s a picture of the marshmallow shooter that I want. How have I lived so long without one? My favorite model has peace signs all over it.
Promoting peace on earth, good will toward men, one marshmallow at a time.