Take My Survey!

My BFF “J”, always concerned with keeping my mental faculties sharp, occasionally asks me thought-provoking questions.  This week’s question was “on a 1-10 scale, what do you rate yourself as a wife?”  Not as a human being, mom or any of the other roles I have in life – just wife. 

I went through the mental checklist of my wife-ly duties including being supportive, faithful and accepting.  Also, Banker Husband’s shirts, that apparently can only be ironed by myself, popped into my head.  Then I threw in dinners (also known as ‘food preparation’), bearing and raising children, keeping a clean house and earning money to make our lives better.  I had decided that I pretty much walk on water. 

“Well”, I said, “I’m not sure.  My report card is almost 19 years late.  I’m going to give myself a 9 (1 point off for occasionally complaining, pouting and being a pain), but I really wonder what my husband thinks.  I think I’ll ask him to rate me too.”

Okay, so I freely admit that timing is everything.  Maybe I shouldn’t have asked Banker Husband to rate me while he was playing Modern Warfare.   Between shootings, he asked my why on earth I would want him to do that.  “That would just potentially cause hurt feelings,” he added.   I then asked him why I would have hurt feelings because I was sure to   get a good rating.  Or (horrors!), were my feelings going to get hurt because I am not making the grade?  Either way, this wasn’t going the way I expected. 

In the end, I got an “8”.  Just because no one is perfect.  Except for my mother-in-law (who, by the by, I dearly love, but don’t want to be compared to).

You can imagine where this is going.  Being relentlessly persistent (okay, another point off), I asked for specific examples, of which I received zero.  Not even a “your chicken pot pies suck”.  So now I’m an “8” without a cause.  I told him that I was soooooo blogging about him and left the room.

I reckon that an “8” is a “B”, in grade terms.  It’s above average but not quite “A” material.  Therefore, I am going to be the “8” that I am.  I may plan dinner and it will be better than an average wife would make, but not gourmet.  I may raise our children better than most women do, but I don’t need to be mother of the year.  Those five pounds I’d like to shed?  Well, that’s for a “9” or “10” wife, but I don’t need to worry about it any longer.

Stay tuned.  This is most definitely not over.


2 thoughts on “Take My Survey!

  1. Hmm.. so hard for me to weigh in on this (and yet I am!) as my lifelong philosophy boils down to some aspect of “Treat ’em mean and keep ’em keen.”

  2. Whoa. Unflagging Husband of Mine would doubtless give me something in the upper limits range (if I were to ask, which I will not). But if I had to rate myself (and I am thrilled I do not for anything other than chuckles), I would be a good solid four; five being dead-center average. Actually, that might be wishful thinking. On a really good day.

    Your BFF might be slightly more sadistic than my BFF. My BFF would have asked, “On a scale of 1-10 how would you rate your abilities as an adult beverage drinker?” Something truly important like that.

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