You Bring the Smores, I’ve Got the Songs

We’re going on vacation in a week.  I’m pretty excited since last year’s “Staycation” was a letdown.  Despite the “Pure Michigan” ads and pleas that we spend our money in our home state, we’re going to Chicago, baby.  I’ll tell you all about our adventures in the Windy City.

In the meantime, I was thinking that it might be fun to do a “Mommy Camp-out” sometime.  Actually, you don’t have to be a mom to come on this camp-out, but you must be female.   Another requirement is that you must have an attitude.  And like to sing at campfires.  And like manis and pedis because you’re not going to split firewood at this party.   

You can bring your guitar and I’ll bring snacks.  I prefer cottages and cabins over tents, but that’s just me.   Oh, and don’t forget some wine and coffee.  

I wrote some songs to sing with our smores.  Tell me what you think.      

My Doggy Threw Up On the Carpet  (Sung to “My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean”)
My doggy threw up on the carpet,
My doggy threw up on the floor,
My doggy threw up in the basement,
It squished when I walked through the door.

Clean up, clean up,
My kids left the vomit for me, for me.
Clean up, clean up,
They’re lucky that it wasn’t pee.

Why Are You Sleeping?  (Sung to “Frere Jacques”)
Why are you sleeping, why are you sleeping,
Teenage Son, it’s 12 noon.
Get your bottom up now,
No more World of Warcraft
All night long, all night long.

They’ll Know That You Are Siblings Cause You Fight  (Sung to “They’ll Know That We Are Christians By Our Love”)
Note: If you grew up Lutheran like myself, you’ll know this song.  If you don’t, please don’t feel left out.  You can preview it here or ask me to hum it for you. 
You are brother and sister,
You are siblings from birth,
You are brother and sister,
You are siblings from birth,
And you absolutely drive me nuts
Cause you don’t get along,
And they’ll know you are siblings cause you fight, cause you fight,
Yes, they’ll know that you are siblings cause you fight.

You are from the same family,
And you share the same genes,
You are from the same family,
And you share the same genes, 
And although you share my DNA
We all can hear your screams,
And they’ll know you are siblings cause you fight, cause you fight,
Yes, they’ll know that you are siblings cause you fight.

And I pray I don’t lose it,
Yes I pray to my Lord,
And I pray I don’t lose it,
Yes, I pray to my Lord,
And I pray that my sanity
Will one day be restored,
And they’ll know you are siblings cause you fight, cause you fight,
Yes, they’ll know that you are siblings cause you fight. 

The Estrogen Song (sung to “Darling Clementine”)
At the ceiling
I am staring
Now the clock against the wall
It is now four in the morning
And I cannot sleep at all.

Oh my hormones, oh my hormones,
Coming from my endocrine,
You are lost and gone forever,
Dreadful sorry, estrogen.

And my doctor says it’s normal,
Not to worry,
Says I’m great,
Ten more years this will be over,
Golly, gee, I cannot wait.

Oh my hormones, oh my hormones,
Oh my hormones, where’d you go?
Now I feel like a crazed psycho,
Dreadful sorry they are low.

Pretty exciting stuff, huh?  Just let me know which dates work for you…

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11 thoughts on “You Bring the Smores, I’ve Got the Songs

  1. sounds like fun!
    Reminds me when I had the four grandchildren living with me.
    All of them sitting at the breakfast table.
    “Gran he/she is looking at me”
    “no I’m not”
    “yes you are”
    You get the picture?
    It is no wonder I have a nervous twitch!

  2. I love the songs! Especially “They’ll know you are siblings cause you fight.” That was written for my kids. I am in favor of a mommy campout anytime! I also prefer cottages and cabins over tents.

    • Yeah, tent camping is for the truly tough. That’s not me. I’ll make sure to leave you room in the cabin!!!

  3. I’m in for the cabin/cottage camp out. I’ll bring lots of chocolate. It’s one of the only things that help.

    Also, one of those unanswered mysteries of life: why is it that when the dog pees on the floor and/or furniture, I am the only one that notices?

    • Excellent idea, Emily. Yes, the unexplained pee situation… it seems to me that it kind of lends itself to unexplained icky bathroom floors when you have little/big boys too. I seriously think that I cannot be the only one who notices.

    • Oh, my house is falling down,
      Falling down,
      Falling down,
      oh, my house is falling down,
      Someone fix it.

      Borrow money from the bank,
      From the bank, from the bank,
      Try to get a loan based on
      The home’s value.

      Guess my house is worth way less,
      Worth way less, worth way less,
      Guess my house is worth way less,
      I can’t get one.

      My, that was cheery! Let me know when you want me to write another one.

  4. Okay, I get a top bunk in the Mommy Cottage. I will make martinis for all. I sum up my mommy world in the following haiku:

    Dishes, scrubbing, clean.
    The Summer wind blows hotly.
    Time for more laundry.

  5. Pingback: So Long and Thanks for All the Hits « Not Your Mother’s Weblog…

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